my qualms with Lost characters

My original post was going to be about something else but I just had to write about this. I understand that this is thus far a Lost-heavy blog, but I can’t help it.

Things about the characters of Lost that I can no longer stand:

Let’s start with the hero – Jack. He hasn’t actually annoyed me yet. However, my girlfriend thinks he needs a haircut. “I don’t like the hair parted off to the side. He had too much fun in We Are Marshall.”

Kate. Oh Mylanta. Will someone please shoot Kate? Please!? Why is she on the show? Anytime anyone has a plan to do anything, Kate shows up and messes it up somehow. Oh, are you going to make dinner? Well I’m going to follow you and trip on wire connected to a bomb which is gonna go off and blow up the Dharma food pantry. Oops, at least I have freckles. Ughhh. In the last few episodes Kate is either crying or is frowning. Not cute, Kate, not cute. I wish she would do everyone a favor and jump into the loving embrace of the smoke monster.

Out of all the characters Sawyer is definitely still my favorite. He is the same person he was when he arrived to the island. He got over stupid Kate (after he jungle effed her) and outsmarted Dharma and became one of their own. Anyone else would have messed this up but Sawyer did it and got to live with Juliet. Not to mention that Sawyer could take almost anyone in a fist fight.

Hurley shows up when he needs to and makes a funny comment and then fades back into the jungle with a pile of Dharma Crisps and some Cola (yummm). Does anyone else think that the Dharma vans are a perfect vehicle for Hurley? It’s like they modeled it after him. The 1970 Volkswagen Hurley.

The ever enigmatic John Locke. Wowza. I would like to say that John annoys me because no one ever knows what he is doing…but I love him. He’s like a crazy uncle who is hell bent on conspiracy theories. Oh great, here comes uncle John to tell us about his time in Roswell. Don’t let him near the steak knives.

Miles is cool. He is named after Miles Davis, what more could you want?

Ben used to annoy me. He used to annoy the hell out of me. So smug with his island knowledge. It wasn’t until John crushed his spirit that I started to appreciate Ben as just another broken soul. Do you weep, Ben? Do you weep like a willow on your goose down pillow?

Jin.is.the.man. He learned English without taking an ESL class and has totally survived on that island nearly unscathed. Other than his incessant quest to find his stupid, cheatin’ ass wife, I like him. Enjoy the picture.

Bang bang! That’s the sound of me shooting Sun. I swear if she asks “where is Jin?” one more time I’m gonna explode. We get it Sun, you’re looking for Jin. I can only imagine Sun walking around the beach at night and walking over to each group of people and saying “*sigh* I sure do miss my husband. Oh, did you know I was looking for him? ‘Cause I am. Do you know where he is?” No, Sun.

My second favorite character is Sayid. He is always there JUST when you need him. Oh shit, someone is about to shoot Jack…BANG. Sayid just shows up with guns a-blazing. He is a trained killer and really shows it. I would kill (Sun) to see Sayid and Sawyer duke it out.

Juliet. Swoon. A lot of people hate Juliet. She’s super pretentious and never really provides any useful information but there’s just something about her. I think I like her so much because Kate sucks so much. She’s the anti-Kate.

Thanks for reading. Peace.