The personals never sounded so good

Craigslist is probably one of the most useful tools on the internet. I found my last two abodes on CL. Sure there’s been a murder or two but other than that you can make out like gang busters on there. Other than all of the useful sections, I think my favorite section is the personals section. Forget eHarmony and Match, CL is the way to go. So let’s go from blue links to purple ones as we peruse the CL world of love (or strictly platonic friendship).

Women Seeking Women

looking for the perfect female!! - 25 (wash d.c area)

no men !! no butches !! no couples !! no spammers !! no bs!! no assholes!! put the subjct PERFECT!! {I'AM} a 24yrs old DOM female seeking a FRIEND w/ BENEFITS or a REAL FRIENDSHIP. {I'AM} very laid back, OPEN MINDED & i have a big heart, & also caring loving. ohhhhh very very UNDERSTANDING, i consider myself to be very MATURE, but if piss me off i can be very IMMATURE if u push there. {I'AM } 420 FRIENDLY, I DRINK sometimes, party when i got somebody to chill wit. just looking for somebody to talk to on regular & cuddle wit or just {wateva u like} { I'AM} 5'4 & 195 LBS THICK KINDA SHORT if dnt like it keep movin . I CAN SEND YOU A PIC IF YOU DO THE SAME , PIC FOR A PIC FEMMS ONLY........................................... WAITING TO HEAR FROM LADIES

1) Why are you yelling? Is the perfect female deaf? You forgot to include “MUST BE hard of HEARING” in your description.
2) I’AM? What language is this from? There’s I’m and then there’s I am.
3) {wateva u like} Why is this in parenthesis? You had a solid flow with that sentence but all of a sudden you started to write the script for a play and you decided to add: just looking for somebody to talk to on regular & cuddle wit or just (aside, edge of stage, lights dim) wateva u like.

This is probably what our friend looks like:
Women Seeking Men

God fearing - 45 (Baltimore)

God fearing, Born-again Christian, professional, with no children seeks Born-again Christian, professional, approx. my age, marriage minded. No Catholics. Serious inquiries only.

1) Whoa. This person in intense. God must be the bully down by the aquarium.
2) What if I haven’t been reborn as a Christian? What if I was just born once?
3) Catholics don’t fear God. They fear homosexuals.
4) To be with this woman I have to be a 40-50 year old Christian who died and was born again, not Catholic, and with marriage on my mind. I would have to be Jesus’ older brother, Jeff.

Jesus and Jeff promoting synergy.

Men Seeking Women

I am Sexy ,handsome, black wtf do i need a black woman for. - 29 (md )

Well i dont need a black woman, thats like kanye west in a Ford escort, or bill gates in a Geo metro, i got high standards, i can from a high class family, i have big time goals, i need a woman by my side that can bring alot to the table too, independent woman. i am 6'2 225 pounds, i wear business suits and i like to party on the weekends and cut loose. i like Spanish women from spanish , high class families and countries no Mexican women, or women from central America no women from Dominican republican there black. no black brazilian women, no women with 3, -4 baby daddies is you have more than one child to the left to the left,


1) My friend, you made me laugh out loud. Well done.
2) Bill Gates, I’m happy for you and I’mma let you finish driving, but Kanye West drives a Ford Escort and that’s the best car of all time! OF ALL TIME!
3) Spanish women from Spanish? That’s like going to McDonalds and ordering a hamburger from hamburger. He is also not a fan of Republicans who are Dominican. DEMOCRATIC WOMEN ONLY.
4) This guy ended his personal with poor math. Women with 3 – 4 baby daddies = -1 women with a baby daddy.


Thanks for reading. Peace.