Little boxes on the hillside…
There is nothing like getting off work and getting to travel. I have the pleasure of dating a Californian so I’ve gotten to go to California twice. I’ve walked on the beaches of SoCal and I’ve eaten a bread bowl of chowder in NorCal. My most recent trip was the San Francisco. Sunny, hilly, pot-smelling San Francisco. Elizabeth and I packed our bags and got the hell out of dodge.
My SF trip was an adventure to say the least. I worked for half the day, like an idiot, before our trip. Clocks move the slowest when you know there is fun to be had. At one point I’m pretty sure my clock started moving backwards. After I finally got off of work, we took every form of transportation to get to the airport. People movers. Idiots. Long lines. Thankfully I had my iPhone for entertainment…and the gentleman below.
His backwards sunglasses say: the sun is following me and my neck is sensitive to UV rays.
His flannel shirt says: Christmas is not over. Not in my heart.
His skateboard says: I like to be mobile when I’m celebrating Christmas.
His blue tooth ear piece says: I don’t look weird when I walk around at the mall talking to myself.
His sweater vest says: there is a very narrow cold front.
His boots say: Don’t mess with me, because hoedowns are a way of life.
We finally boarded the plane and took flight. …little boxes made of ticky tacky…
Five and a half hours later we land in San Francisco and are greeted by warm weather. Elizabeth’s friend, Kelley, graciously picked us up and took us to one of the greatest eateries that has ever existed; In-n-Out. I can only imagine that In-N-Out is served in heaven. Jesus enjoys animal style fries. Our first night in San Fran was pretty low key. We kicked back a few drinks and people watched at what can only be described as Copa Cabana meets geriatrics. I’m gonna pick up a cougar next time. Dead or alive.
For the rest of the weekend we were given the Golden Tour by Miss Kelley with commentary by Miss Casey. We kicked it off in the Mission by enjoying a Morning Bun from Tartine Bakery in Dolores Park. (Did you know that Camino Real means Royal Road?) From there we did a little sightseeing: Golden Gate (from afar), Palace of Fine Arts (complete with weeping women and the prospect of getting shat on by a bird), and of course a little night boozing.
The second day consisted of a little more sightseeing. I thoroughly enjoyed walking The Golden Gate Bridge. The weather was perfect, the anti-suicide signs were glowing, and I was surrounded by a group of hot girls. Here are some facts I learned about SF from this group of girls:
- Coit Tower looks like a giant penis and is short for Coitus Tower.
- Lombard Street is awesome but you have to take the trolly past it by about a quarter mile and then have to hike back uphill to enjoy it.
- Chinatown houses titty bars and Asians.
- Pizza is always a good choice, even after you’ve already eaten.
- The Bush Man is an enigma wrapped in a puzzle.
- Gum is a valid enough purchase to park in a Harris Teeter parking lot.
- Sushi is more delicious if there is a challenge involved.
- I can shimmy better than Molly.
- The finger game is a success on all coasts.
- Don’t try to promote your music to Emily.
- M-O-N-A…
- Both boys and girls can wear pink underwear.
- ...little boxes on the hillside
- Taking a nap and The Sweetest Thing are interchangeable.
It was definitely an estrogen fest but I loved it. It was great trip with a great group of girls. The flight home felt much shorter, except for the guy behind me who violated every bit of my auditory privacy. At one point I could hear him chewing through my headphones. “How does that taste? It sounds delicious.”
Kelley, do you like your bumper sticker? ...little boxes all the same.
Thanks for reading. Peace.
Thanks for reading. Peace.
2 comments:
"I’m gonna pick up a cougar next time. Dead or alive."
Picking up a cougar while you're alive would be totally unsafe. Picking up a cougar when you're dead might be a tad difficult.
Picking up a dead cougar would be smart, but probably a little heavy. Picking up an alive cougar would be just as unsafe as picking up a cougar while you're alive--that thing would eat you.
Ohhhh did you mean a good-looking old lady? Gotchya. You'll probably want to be alive when you do that. And you'll want her alive too...hopefully.
In-N-Out burgers are the friggin' bomb. We're going to LA in a few weeks, and oddly enough, I had planned on wearing that same exact outfit as that gentleman you spotted, while eating an In-N-Out burger. Spectacular.
This is Chau, btw.
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